tHE LaST daY oF tHe dEcADE.....

Today is already the last day of the decade....

i want to end this decade in full of fun... wanna go shopping..wanna go movies ( i plan to watch alvin and the chipmunks but avatar also sounds good).. i LOVE shopping so000 much...but, I'm not spending much. It's hard for me to look for things that i really like..

sometimes, when i like the MATERIAL, i don't like the DESIGN, and vice versa. AND sometimes when i like both, i don't like the PRICE...haha..

the cute little chipmunk????

or...........................................

 the so-called best film by my friend???????

 *_*

But, i feel really really good as i finally find myself  4 new clothes, 1 shoes that I've been admired for about six months and a red bag(i never have red bag or shoes or even clothes)...i find it kind of cute..then, i also bought a new lappy as my old one is hardly damaged. thank you s0 much dad.. love you n_n

besides, the price is really good... (btw, now is YES- year end sale). actually i saved money along my semester so that i can spend it on holiday..haha..

talking about holiday. now this is the best time i have to check out whether i do what i plan to do.

LIST-TO-DO :

• i WILL read 15 books. now i read 3...huhu.. 

1. i only read another 3.  OMG
   

• i WILL go to sunway lagoon with my sister. I promised her so many times, so i want to fulfill it.

1. i cant because we dont ave the time. She has so many plans with her friends. So, i think next year would be better.
   

• i WILL  pack all my books since we will going to move out in January or February next year. Now, i packed all 3 boxes. but, still there are a LOT of books which i do not pack up yet.

1.  i can say i did it. now, in my house there are only mu sister's book. I can't mess with that because i might throw somethings she likes.
   

• i WILL bake 4 types of cookies and learn how to make curry.

1. haha.. i am now the curry expert. Now i can cook curry and also another few recipes. But, i dont bake any cookies as my oven is damaged

So, i think i did it quite well. BUT i admit i did poor on the books. that is not really good as i love books so much.

>>>>>>>>> FRIENDSHIP <<<<<<<<<<<<<<

TO ALL MY FRIENDS I MET ALONG MY LIFE.....

the day we met, i'll never forget

the time we fight, i'll always regret

the moment we share, i'll keep it down here 

deep down so close in my heart...

now..

distance keep us apart

but it can never broke us apart

the moment you need me

just call me

and 

i'll be there for you

in the middle of the night

i always hope that GOD put you in good hands

so that 

when we meet again

we could love each other even more..

miss u guys...being distance make me realize how important all of u in me.. u keep me alive..

u make me live my life....thanx ..

muahhhhhhhhhhxxxxxxxxxxx

I'm trying to figure out what love is. 

i spend a lot of time trying to figure it out. 

I read books, google, friends, my mum, my dad, and even my aunts.

but still, there is no answer that satisfy me.

i mean, i'm trying to figure out what is love between man and woman.

wikipedia : 

Love is any of a number of emotions related to a sense of strong affection and attachment.

cosmo magazine :

"When you meet someone you really like, you become infatuated, and your body produces a euphoria-inducing, adrenaline-like hormone," explains Pat Love, author of The Truth About Love 

my mum : 

 love is when you feel really good with someone, who inspires you to be better you but not changing yourself into other person. 

(actually it comes with a LOT of advices about men, what's NOT TO DO and so many more. my mum worried so much about it)

my dad: 

love is free to be yourself with that person. you don't have to worry about how you look, what you do. you can be yourself with that person. 

me: really?? it's hard to find that kind of person.

dad: maybe. but, once you find it, you should never let it go. 

me: okay, haa...for example. do you okay with mum in messy hair and bad clothes?

dad : i'm okay with it. I like it best when your mum just put simple make up. i like her the way she is.

(actually, it kinds of odd to talk about this thing with my dad....hahaha. he's kind of shy person)

books: 

love is some kind of emotion that attracts man and woman.at first, It makes you obsessed about that person. you think about him, want to be with him, feeling dizzy. (i think some of it are exaggerated to make it sooooo in fantasy)

at last, i still can't explain what love is. CAN ANYONE?????

WOMEN n_n

i've read this on internet and i think it is really interesting yet true at some point. 

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don’t, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don’t, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don’t, you are not understanding
If you visit her often,she thinks it is boring
If you don’t , she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don’t , you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it’s bad
If you don’t, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn’t respect her
If you don’t, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it’s hard to wait
If she is late, she says that’s a girl’s way
If you visit another man, you’re not putting in “quality time”
If she is visited by another woman, “Oh it’s natural, we are girls”
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they a just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk

In short:
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>through my lovely holiday<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I really want to write something. BUT then, all the words just spinning around my head. I don't know what to say. I am really sad to think that my holiday is about to end. It is such a VERY VERY BEAUTIFUL TIME. I've learned a lot along this holiday. I think i am more matured now..hahahaha. I'm NOT saying that i am matured but i am more matured than before. i met new friends, i confronted myself about my feelings towards someone i thought i love. However I'm a little bit scared to go through my new semester in university. I don't want to feel the damn feeling i felt last semester. It is not  a pleasant feeling. I don't know if i am ready for that again.okay..enough with that stuff.

This holiday, i met a guy. For a while, i think i like him. He is nice, a very good listener, caring and a little bit childish (which is a quality i want in a man). He also admit that he likes me. It feels so good to be with him. But, there are something missing. It just like hanging out with my BFF. Then, i confronted with him.

me:  hey, i want to say something... < serious mode>

him :  what? u sound so serious. It is not normal u. is there something wrong? < sweet mode>

me :  no...i'm just....what do u think about us? don't u think that we are moving T00 fast?

him :   i know. It has been only a month we know each other. . I think we both know what we     are doing now, right? i just broke up with my girl and u want to forget someone u loved for so long.

me : yup..that is very true. . BUT , i still think we can be friends. I love to hang out with you.

him : yeah. me too. i feel so good when talking to u. Can i get a hug please? please 3x..

me : ur dream...

That conversation needs a lot of courage of me to start it. And now, we are still hanging out. With no feelings. 

Thanks bro for being my friends and be there when i need u the most. 

 

http://www.love-sessions.com/illusion_love_quiz.htm

http://www.love-sessions.com/illusion_love_quiz.htm

DO we need a boyfriend????????? *_*

Do we need a boyfriend?? I kept asking the question all this time in yhis holiday. It keeps haunting me. Of course now, i do not date anybody + not even in progress to date anybody. I just do not feeling it anymore. 
BUT, my friends keep asking me, my mom asked me, my cousins...
It is like i should have a boyfriend in my age. I know it is normal for girls in my age to have a boyfriend. Most of my friend do have a boyfriend 
( some of them even have SEVERAL bf). 
but, do we need a boyfriend???????????

I don't want to start a relationship because i want a boyfriend. I want to have a relationship with someone who is really important and special to me.

n_n


*_*





Someone who makes my heart beat faster.
Someone who want to be with me 
not because he can't live without me

but because he wants to be with me

Someone who inspires me to become better me and not someone else. 
Who wants to share their heart and let me in to his life.
who completes me
when i find THE ONE, I WILL
without hesitating anything
to hold his hand and never let go.

In this moment,
there is no one who makes me feel like that.

I am really tired of asking question about it. 
It is just i don't want to rush.
I think it will come when GOD thinks I am ready.

My holIDaY....

nOW, i have finished half of my holiday with so many joys, laugh and sometimes too many lazy time. So, now i think it is enough for myself. Now, i want to do something good.  

LIST-TO-DO :

• i WILL read 15 books. now i read 3...huhu
• i WILL go to sunway lagoon with my sister. I promised her so many times, so i want to fulfill it.
• i WILL  pack all my books since we will going to move out in January or February next year. Now, i packed all 3 boxes. but, still there are a LOT of books which i do not pack up yet.
• i WILL bake 4 types of cookies and learn how to make curry

It seems just like a little, but actually it is a lot of work to do. ok, time to work.

CHOP3X... n_n

tHE b00K i rEAD........

Last night, before sleep i read about Kerjaya sbg Pensyarah by Norhasni Zainal Abidin and Mohd Rafaai Ayudin. Why did I read it at the first place is because i would like to be a lecturer. I really want to be a lecturer. It is a good book. It gave me a lot of informations about career as a lecturer.

Now i know, the best way to become a lecturer is i must maintain good result. And after finishing my first degree, someone who want to become a lecturer is preferred to be a tutor first at the university. Mostly, at the university where they had studied. Besides, it would be better for ones to be good at writing to be a better lecturer. It is because, being a lecturer is not jut giving lectures, but also doing research and many more. 

It is a good book. BUT, it has too much narration. thank you by the way for giving me so much information about my dream career. n_n

>>>>> JEALOUSY <<<<<<<

sitting hear thinking of you
dreaming about the day that will never be true..

 Actually, im kinda person that do not  have yet good luck in my love life. The person i like will always like my best friend. Like, in secondary school, i like this guy. I like him so much. He is my bestie untill now. BUT, he liked my roommate. OMG. Then, i helped them out. 
Then, i like my senior. I admired him (he's cute, sporty, cool) haha..we always keep in touch. BUT, later, he liked my best friend. AGAIN. At that time, feel like dont wanna fall for anybody anymore. 
First semester in my university life, i met this guy.  but again and again he likes my bestie.
Untill now, it has been 5 guys i liked that liked my bestfRIEND. I always kept faking my smile to hear they told me stories about all their happy time together with the guys i liked. and, i always told them that i dont like that guy anymore so that they wont feel bad for me.  huhuhu..

By now, i feel so good being single. It is so peace and cool in me. I dont give up for love. Just, now im not desperate to fall in love. I just hope that the time i meet my man,, it will just good time and good place, and good person.

Love is unconditional.

If he is not for you, 

it means there is another better guy/ girl for you. Dont just being sad.

Move on and cheer up. Life is cool.

Sometimes, maybe the best one is not the best for us. And sometimes, just good is the best for us.

LiVe like we'RE dying >.<

 Suddenly turn on the radio and listen to dis song....lalala..


KRIS ALLEN ~~ LIVE LIKE WE'RE DYING

Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's to late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
We could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you
What would you wish you would've done

Yeah... gotta start
Lookin at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start pickin it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbyes
Should be so careful who we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution
There'll no one on the line

Yeah... gotta start
Lookin at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start pickin it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying oh-- like we're dying [x2]

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live -- like we're dying

We never know a good thing till it's gone
You never see a crash until it's head on
All those people right when we're dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it's gone

Yeah... gotta start
Lookin at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start livin it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying oh -- like we're dying [x2]

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
Live like we're dying
[Fade out]

Life is t0o go0d to be wasted n_n

Wake up dis morning with such a good mo0d n_n... and now i know dat life shouldn't just be wasted..

yeah it's true dat life could be unfair, hard, unexpected, but if we look again on the bright side..we will discover dat all of the craps we hate will make our life more beautiful. >.<

For example, i broke up with my ex boyfriend because of long distance relationship. At dat time, i feel like it is the end of me. 

Until one day, in the middle of night i suddenly woke up and think. If i didn't change, nobody would change. 

World will never change. It's all up to me.

Then, i start with a new spirit inside of me. I call my old friends and re-do our relationship. It's true when some people said that when we are in love, we tend to forget our friends. (sorry guys~.~)

And now we are still in a good relationship. I know, the puppy love i had will go nowhere, but when it is end, it felt so hurt. However, it will end someday (because i dont want to marry dat kind of guy). So, i think it was just the best to be ended at that time.

What im trying to say is life is t0o good to be wasted. Don't waste it with just being sad. Do what u want, wherever u want and whenever u want. u deserve to be happy.

Even you ever made mistake but you still deserve to be happy. 

Dont make things worse by being sad. We all can make a better world. It is simple. 

Just make ur little life happy and believe me, all the things around you will be better. 

Sometimes, much much better.

Ive read a book that said

"if you want to be happy, then just be"

HAPPY is unconditional.

Life iS uNexpEctED....

When all the wishes becoming true...

i felt so g0od..

it is really really g0od till..

i forgot about being hurt...

until one day i wake up and it's gone....

it is not about me..but, i ilke to play with words....try to make it sound nice...

                                                 

i had a heart 

but 

i gave it to you

and now..

i cant feel anything..

because  
i gave you mine..

but i dont get yours.

i just love dis kind of questi0ns ^_^

What is your idea of perfect happiness? 

-be grateful wit what u have 

What is your greatest fear?
- lonely-

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
-lack of self confidence- (im trying to improve)

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
-judgmental

Which living person do you most admire?
 -MY MOM-

What is your current state of mind?
 -JUST COOL-

On what occasion do you lie?
-when the truth will make my love ones hurt-

What is the quality you most like in a man?
Considerate and family man...

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
-considerate and smart-

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"oH my g0odness" my friends also use it now..huhu

Which talent would you most like to have?
-teaching maybe

What is your favorite occupation?
i want to be a lecturer, a businesswoman

What is your most marked characteristic?
Hard working

What do you most value in your friends?
loyalty and accept me for who i am

Who are your favorite writers?
Andrew matthews

What is it that you most dislike?
being judged before they even know me

What is your greatest regret?
That i broke up with my ex..haha

How would you like to die?
In my sleep – fine one day, dead the next

What is your motto?
life is short, make it worth...

.................fLYinG wiTH0ut wiNgS...........

Listen to this song my whole day... Such a meaningful song...s0 guyz...check this out...

FLYING WITHOUT WINGS

Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings


Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You'll find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You'll find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So, impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Cos who's to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete


Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place


It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
Cos you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings


And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends


I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings

...........my heart feel so empty...

LONELY (^~^)

My bestfriend is having her relationship to the next level....
mY SCHOOLMate is expecting her first baby...
my r0ommate is extremely happy with her boyfriend....


ME??????????????????????


I am still single (huhuhu)....but people always thoght that i already have a boyfriend...
how CRUEL is that?????



I feel so damn alone right now... I dont know if this is the best for me.. mayb GOD want me to focus on my stdudy....but......but, sometimes, i want somebody that can always be there for me... It's true that i have my friends.....







to be honest...
i dont feel anything special towards anybody.... ya, i admit that i had falling for someone... I like him for 7 years..but, he already has a girlfriend..... So, i've been rejected even undirectly...I never tell him...but then...i realized that now i dont like him any more but i like the idea of liking him actually... Such a messy words.. but, that is how i feel right now...


and now...i dont feel for anybody.. actually im tired of that...i just want someone to be with me...

Exam is in the corner!!!!! my heads is in the other corner..what to do????

Final exams are here......so much things to do, but so little time i have..... not sure if i can make it better this time.... so, now that i dont have any mood to study, then i collect some motivation quotes for to cheer me up along this way... caiyok2!!!

hoping to see many of this in my result...
Just feeling scared but kind of dont know what to do...hope i can get through it well enough.... why do i feeling so empty right now...
what should i do??????

Hope to say this to someone...
but i just couldnt...
i like him a lot....
but he thinks i have a boyfriend..
and there is no way he will believe me if i say i dont...
he doesnt even ask me...
just figure it out from his friend..
should i just go to him and say "hey, im single"
that will be weird...

me...

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: milo... make it myself..huhu
2. Last phone call: my mom... 3. Last text message: my roomate
4. Last song you listened to: meet me halfway (BEP)
5. Last time you cried: a couple of days ago

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: n0pe
7. Been cheated on: nope..
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: never kiss someone
9. Lost someone special: yupp... i really regret about it
10. Been depressed: yupp
11. Been drunk and threw up : NO











LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. blue
13. green
14. pink







THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: not really new friends but just started to know each other better

16. Fallen out of love: i dont know....

17. Laughed until you cried: always

18. Met someone who changed you: not a big change...but better me i think

19. Found out who your true friends are: yupp

20. Found out someone was talking about you: yes..dont really care (hard to satisfy everyone)

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: most of it

23. How many kids do you want to have: mmm..3 or 5 or 7 could be great..haha

24. Do you have any pets: nope.. my mom and sis are sensitive with fur

25. Do you want to change your name: nope..i think my name is sweet

26. What did you do for your last birthday: hang out wit my family... den go out with my classmate..

27. What time did you wake up today: 7.00 am... can you believe it..huhu

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: thinking what i really want in my life so that i do not regret it when i m like 50 maybe

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: final exam to over...

30. Last time you saw your Mother: just like 5 minutes ago...im in home...hehe

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: change the way i think about myself maybe...

32. What are you listening to right now: the climb

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Tom?? tom cruise?? Tom n jerry?? haha

34. What's getting on your nerves right now: final exam

35. Most visited webpage: faceb0ok

36. What's your real name: Aisya

37. Nicknames: ecah

38. Relationship Status: its complicated..ahahahaa

39. Zodiac sign: Libra

40. Male or female: female

41. Elementary School: sk tmn medan

42. Middle School :smkdh

43. High school/college: (jmc)

44. Hair colour: dark brown

45. Long or short: medium...

46. Height: 155

47. Do you have a crush on someone: yupp...my classmate..haha

48: What do you like about yourself: seeking reason for anything happen i my life... make me feel go0d about being me...

49. Piercings: long time ago.. it's gone already

50. Tattoos: never 51. Righty or lefty: righty


FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: not yet
53. First piercing: ears
54. First best friend: my neighbour and my sis.. BFF
55. First sport you joined: netball???haha..im not g0od at it
56. First vacation: Penag i think.. the whole family and we rent a bus to go...such an exciting times..
58. First pair of trainers: hah??

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: nugget
60. Drinking: plain water
61. I'm about to: study perhaps.. got test tomorrow
62. Listening to: i gotta feeling (BEP)
63. Waiting on: 15 nov...

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids: sure...
65. Get Married : hopefully
66. Career: lecturer.. businesswoman..writer maybe??

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: eyes..
68. Hugs or kisses: hugs.
69. Shorter or taller: doesnt matter
70. Older or Younger: younger?haha!
71. Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: nice stomach!!
73. Sensitive or loud: loud
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship..
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: trouble maker.


HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: nope
77. Drank hard liquor: n0pe
78. Lost glasses/contacts : of c0urse.. hahaha
79. Sex on first date: never....
80. Broken someone's heart: maybe..im really sorry
82. Been arrested: not yet..haha
83. Turned someone down: mmmmm...sorry
84. Cried when someone died: yupp... my granny..miss her so much

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: yes
87. Miracles: sure...isnt it great??
88. Love at first sight: nope
89. Heaven: yes
90. Santa Claus: no..
91. Kiss on the first date: n0pe..
92. Angels: YES!

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: no...
95. Did you sing today: yess
96. Ever cheated on somebody: yup...
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: my high school maybe
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be: my holiday...
99. Are you afraid of falling in love: no...
100. Posting this as 100 truth

This is the place i really wish to be right now.. Dont know why, but sometimes, i just wanna be alone... Right now im trying to figure out what have i done in my life that was really me?? Have you ever think of that.. It just like you do things that you dont even want to do... and we all think that is our life...

HOW IS OUR LIFE IS NOT WHAT WE WANT IT TO BE???
It is like everything is planned. Rigid. When you were children, go to school.. then go to university, must get g0od grades, compete with all those people.. then after all that, go to work.. being married, having kids...and die......


Such a scary fist post... What the hell that im thinking now? It just sometime, i think that my life is going t0o fast without me doing the real thing i want... Im taking accountancy courses (because of the proffesionalism and the marketable). So, sometimes it makes me think am i doing the wronh thing? Or should i make a change?? Or should i just stick with it and see where it will take me to...